So, I'm on Blogger. This is kind of weird. Here I am, being so narcissistic, that I actually think that people will read what kind of messed of stuff is floating around in my brain at all hours of the day. Well, lets get to the nitty gritty. My name is Chad, I'm what most people call, a neurotic teddy bear. But that's not why I'm here. I'm 33 years old, not married (yet), living at home, and have a pretty sweet job. I've been with my girlfriend, Lynn, for just over 3 years, and we're currently shopping for engagement rings. I'm a drummer, a DJ, a Car Audio competitor and a music aficionado. I'm sure through this journey, we'll go over most of this as time progresses, but first, let touch on a subject that has been on my mind for a few months...
Over the past few weeks, I had learned about a person that had reached a weight of 530 lbs. Pretty large man, to say the least. Over three years ago, he started doing little things here and there, to help him lose what is now, almost 300 lbs. I found this to be pretty intriguing, in fact, its petty much inspired me to start a change in my life as well as starting this blog.
Recently, in the past 12 months (can you still use the word recently if its been almost a year? HMMM), my girlfriend of 3 years has embarked on a journey to change her life as well. She started dieting! God damn I hate that word. It's like a fat kids worst vocabulary word on the SAT when you're trying to get into a major univ.... oh wait... I forgot to mention I have ADD :). Anyways, Lynn, started on a path of DIEt and exercise. (I caped the DIE for a reason *grin*). Lynn started by not only adjusting her eating habits, but also what she eats, when she eats it and how much of it. During this moment in her life, I was in the process of building my 2012 Chevy Camaro for Competition (thus the title my blogger area title thinggy!). After some time, she started working out in one of those "Bootcamp" type of gym's and decided to inspire herself by competing in a weight-loss challenge. This was an awesome idea I thought. After some more time, and before the challenge kicked up, one of our co-workers had suggested that I join the gym with her. So, I promised I "would try it out".
Fast forward to the morning of the gym try out... I got up that morning, got dressed, brushed my teeth, straightened my hair, and was actually looking forward to the "new gym".We get there, and I see all these "hard body" moms and dads all getting ready to take part in the 60 minute marathon of beat downs! We find out that today's mission, is to run (or walk), row on a little rowing machine, a total of 1500 meters, in 30 mins, on each device. If you reached your 1500 meters you can then go for a bonus of 500 meters. But the catch! you had to do it in increments. Start at 500m run, then switch to 500m row, then 400 run, then 400 row, etc... Sounded pretty easy. I figured, I cant run, I'm not going to kid myself, but I can walk pretty damn fast! So I did it! Complete with my 1 liter of water. I did pretty damn good, for someone that hadn't really worked out in a few years. I didn't quite reach the total of 1500 m, but I was pretty darn close! I felt great! Then came the next stage. On this stage, you were in the weight room. There were different exercises that were geared to keep your heart in a rate in which was conducive to high energy weight loss. Great! I'll do what I can! I did my best, wasn't able to do everything but I did what I could.
At the end of our session, we ended by doing some stretching. The instructor (whom Lynn had become really close with), came over to check on me. I was feeling pretty good! As I was stretching, I started to notice my heart rate was pretty high, I started getting kind of dizzy and then suddenly VERY nauseous. I threw my towel up to my mouth and ran outside. Remember that 1 liter bottle of water? Well, I threw it all up over the course of about 5 minutes. I must have thrown up 20 times, with nothing but water coming out of my mouth, nose, ears, eye balls, you name it! I swore to the aqua gods that I would never drink water again, if they just kept me from vomiting more! (WOW, sounds like one of the many drunken binge nights in college!). So after upchucking ever ounce of water, my stomach kind of forgave me, and I was able to sit down. A middle aged man came out and sat next to me. He said "One day, I was in your shoes. The exact same thing happened to me. But I pushed, I pushed some more, and here I am."
This made me think long and hard. Did I really want to subject myself to the constant risk of vomiting my guts out in front of people I hardly know? Do I REALLY want to subject myself to my friends that would probably make fun of me because I actually admitted that I threw up for 5 minutes after a work out? Do I really want to wake up tomorrow morning in so much pain that I can hardly sit down to eat my breakfast, or lunch??? Hang in there, and you'll learn...
That night, I decided to scratch one of those 3 questions off of my list. I was at the shop, where we were building my car. The person that was helping was Joe. Another person that I highly look up to. Joe is a diabetic. I'm not sure you can call some a former diabetic? or can you? If you can, then he is a former diabetic. Now, let me explain with out getting into too many personal details. Joe had a medical problem. Part of the problem (if not all of it), was because of diabetes. After multiple surgeries, and a butt load of money, Joe decided that he wanted to change his life. Joe took it upon him self to visit what I call a "Drill Sergeant". In layman terms - a Personal Trainer. But, this person, is more of a SUPER AGENT DRILL SERGEANT. Not only is this guy going to help him lose weight, but he's going to get Joe off of his medications!
Is this even possible? Once you have diabetes is it possible to get off of your meds? Wouldn't that damage your liver and vital organs because of all the needed insulin and stuff? Well, I can tell you now, after a year of hard work, dedication, and me making fun of him because he had to eat salmon fish, everyday for 3 meals, Joe is down A TON of weight, and he is NEARLY off his medication. I'd suspect, in the next 6 months his medication will be gone and no longer needed. I've never told Joe this, but, watching what he went through, seeing what he did to correct it, and seeing the after effects, has truly inspired me. I never said anything to him, because I didn't want to be that "fag" for having a "bro-mance" or anything like that. But the reality is, I am inspired by it.
Between the works of Joe, and Lynn, I started thinking more and more about what life is going to be like for me in 5, 10, 15 even 20 years from now. I remember when I was a young fat kid, my dad would stand out side with me, playing catch with the baseball. I remember one of my favorite things, was when he would throw the ball so high, I could barely see it, but it was simulate that type of "pop-fly" that is hit in a game. So thinking to myself now, will I be able to do this with my kids? Will I be able to run up and down the football field, as a coach, or even helping to teach my son how to tackle someone in a game? These thoughts scare the crap out of me. I want to be that father that is able to show my kids how to not only appreciate music, but to enjoy sports, and still be able to hang with them when they need me to. This is what bothers me most. This is what has motivated me to a point where I realize I need to change a few things in my life. I don't hate myself. I am completely comfortable with who I am, what I do and how I look. There are doctors and nursing and people that say "you don't really love your self because your fat! You'll love yourself when you're skinny, blah blah blah". First off, SHUT UP. I love myself, I love who I am, I love what I do, and I'm completely OK with how I look! I don't have diabetes, or any kind of disease that can inhibit me from having an every day life. But the problem I have, is I cant do the things I could once do when I was 21.
Right now, as I write this, I'm at about 315 lbs. Its harder for me to get inside a trunk to pull out a 15 inch sub-woofer that needs to be replaced because it's blown. It increasingly tough to wake up at 6:30 am to have a steady sleep schedule. I miss being able to go to clubs and dance. Shit, I miss dancing! I used to have a ton of fun with friends at clubs dancing and having a good time. Funny thing is, Lynn told me the other day, she couldn't picture me dancing. I kind of giggled because she has no idea! LOL.
About 5 weeks ago, Lynn took me to L.A. Fitness. We signed up as a couple and decided to start hitting the gym. I started at about 3 days a week, to kind of get into a groove. I don't to a whole lot, but I find that biking the 5 miles on the stationary in 20 mins, walking a mile in 20 mins and within the past few weeks, started lifting light weights for 20 mins, is helping me to feel better and better. I'm not losing much weight, but I am feeling better about what I'm doing, and to me, that makes up for it.
About 9 months ago, Lynn and I had started to reduce our sugar in-take. I haven't REMOVED IT, but I have cut my dependency on soda DRASTICALLY. I'm averaging about 1 maybe 2 meals A MONTH with soda. That is usually only because the places we go either do not serve tea, or lemonade. It's a work in progress, but its a goal that is getting easier and easier to achieve. I have more or less cut out beer entirely from my diet. I maybe have 3 beers a year, IF THAT. That in itself is a significant change! I love IPA's and Ale's, but its not something I have to have to live my life! (BTW, I'm not an alcoholic by any stretch!)
So, what does this all mean? Where do I go from here? What happens next? I'm not really sure, but, I plan on documenting it from here.... I'm curious to see where it brings me! Feel free to chime in... maybe even give me some words of encouragement. But just remember, this is my blog, my thoughts, and my goals... If you don't like what is said, then stop reading it. I say it how it is, I say it how I think it, and I say it exactly as I am!
-C
No comments:
Post a Comment